| (no subject) |
[May. 18th, 2009|01:29 am] |
my birthday, ruled.
my boyfriend, rules.
my friends, rule.
i rule. the end. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2008|08:16 pm] |
Don't rain on my parade bro. Im so over everything about you and all your empty words. I was upset and melodramatic for a few days, but I've since snapped out of it and realized you are not worth my tears. You're a lying junkie I shouldn't have wasted my time with in the first place. Have a nice life living in your moms basement with your fat girlfriend haha.
Wow I sound so bitter. Im really not though. I think I just feel like I need someone to fill that void of not having a family to lean on. But that's what friends are for. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2006|11:50 pm] |
my mom's complete attitude towards me has changed, as if somehow i'm no longer the black sheep of the family. it has me confused, yet i'm enjoying the attention i feel i never got growing up. it's nice to be on the receiving end of something positive these days. i just wish i could receive positive energy from myself, as i find i feel i am inadequate in all aspects of life.
i look at the past lately and wonder...how could i have made so many mistakes. i lost a lot of friends last year. friends that i think would have been good for me in the long run. the past two years for the most part have been hell on earth. i fucked up school, friendships, relationships and basically anything and everything i had to hold on to. and i have so many secrets i keep, from everyone but myself. and they haunt me sometimes. i just wish i hadn't been so scared. scared of the truth. scared of getting hurt. scared of life. and in the end i hurt so many people around me, completely unintentionally and it hurt me more than anything ever has. i wish i could reconnect with some of those people. however i am so embarassed with the way i acted i feel like i would panic and run the other way if i ever crossed paths with any of them. thats an awful feeling to have weighing on you.
well, i am sorry. truly sorry. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2005|11:26 am] |
there's nothing better than the sweet aroma of a summer's end.
a summer in which you thought you lost it all, but in reality gained a lot more than you ever had.
a summer in which you found out who your real friends were. again, you thought you lost, but you gained so much more.
a summer in which you were thrown in to drown, but somehow you always kept your head above the water.
a summer in which life got tough, and you got tougher with it.
a summer in which i gained back my innocence. (a little)
a summer in which you found out who you really were, and got rid of the pieces you didnt like.
a summer in which you realized...
that love is not what you thought it was
that people can be cruel, and so can you
that growing up isn't all bad
that you dont "hate your life" (not all the time)
that you gotta do what you gotta do
that the good times will keep on coming
and that sometimes, you cant look back.
cheers to the summer of 2005. i learned a lot.
thank you to the people that are still in my life, i cherish you everyday. i love you |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2005|07:44 pm] |
i am a mess. i miss the simpler days of fighting over who would get to sit next to who on the bus ride to school. i miss when the biggest money problem was leaving your lunch money at home and having your mom drop it off. i miss when work was replaced with play. i miss riding bikes in the summertime, selling lemonade on the street corner, and having pool parties. jealousy meant her toys were cooler than yours. friendship was everything, and no fight lasted longer than a few minutes. i miss when it didnt matter what you wore, or how big your house was, or any of the materialism applied in making friends at this age. i miss when boys had cooties and love was simple. love was that boy who lived across the street whose cooties didnt matter. and you probably had a cootie shot anyway. i miss when mom could fix everything, and daddy was a hero. i miss thinking that i would live happily ever after...
i wish i could go back. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
fantasiafaerie's journal